they don't know

But it actually hurts. It hurts to see that they've moved on so quickly. I guess in reality things really move fast. They look so happy. I don't think I've ever made them feel that happy. I should be happy for them shouldn't I? maybe i'm being selfish. I can't help but to feel forgotten.

July 4thhhhhhh

The fireworks were so nice tonight becus it's been a while ever since I really sat down and watched em :) and the food was even better! we ate right when we got to my aunt's friend's house and I was full within like 15 minutes. hehehe. There was a lot of people complaining about how they had a crappy 4th of July, but I honestly think they missed the purpose of this holiday. It's not a holiday where you party with your friends and get wasted. Nope. It's a day to celebrate living in America and having our freedom. It's a day to be with family and watch the pretty fireworks. And maybe if your family isn't celebrating, go with a friend to their family's and bond with them. I went with my cousin, her boyfriend, her mom & her mom's boyfriend. They're all so sweet. :) I like being with them bcus they make me feel like part of the family. but yaaah time to play on the internet for probably 5 more hours then sleep.. my sleeping schedule is all discombobulated & whatnot :[

:(

It's almost 1 in the morning and I can't sleep. I can't get away from anything, and I feel lonely. What happened 2 weeks ago is still in my head. I can't believe this is happening.. sigh. I miss them so much. I can't go a day w/o thinking about what happened. This is just the saddest thing. I can't wait to see them in a few days....

I have just pure hate for you

So annnnnnnnnnnoying.......

Late night blogging.

Well, these couple of days have been nice. I go home before 10 and I have loads of fun! But when I come home and come back to reality, things don't seem so good afterall. I sort of blame this one person for making me feel this way.. But who's kidding, it's my fault that I feel like this. I keep letting myself go. Let's have a recap of today. I went to school, did all my work and stayed focus. I really didn't want to stay after school for drama rehearsals but I knew it was the better thing to do so I stayed after all. Then around 4 I got picked up by blaze buddy and friends. We cruized and went to the mall. Me and blaze buddy were cracking up like crazy! I don't even remember what we talked about, but that shit was funny:) Then we met up with babyboy Bruce and we went to Sam's neighborhood to kick it. We just hung out right in front of his house, but it was sort of fun. I felt like we were little kids playing on the playground and hitting each other! freaking Linda bit Aaron on the neck twice and left all these vampire marks, eeek D: I got dropped off and tried texting ______, but he wasn't in that texting mood I guess. It sometimes gets me irritated how he's always like that. He's like another version of my bestfriend.. But he keeps it mature and doesn't blow up on me for not texting back or some shit. I wanna say today was a good day, but you kind of killed it for me. It doesn't even seem like you want me in your life sometimes. Why would you ask that dumb question if you didn't even care? I'm sorry for being such a little bitch about it but come on now, we both know something's up. I feel like if I get sucked into this anymore I'm not gonna be able to get out. This is scary.. I don't know what I'm doing right now. I'm so confused, don't know what to do at this point. All I can say is "fuck it or what?" Whhhhhhhy is life fucking with me like this :(

Pissed.

Mad at the world..........

I don't want to get attached to you.

Because that means I'll start thinking about you and over analyzing things. I'll begin to worry when you don't text back. I'll begin to lie in bed and think about you. I'll begin to smile at every cute thing you say. I'll begin to be head over heels for someone that might not have the same feelings for me. I'll begin to get lonely when we don't talk for an hour so. I'll begin to have insomnia. Do I want that? No. But do I want you? Yeah, I do.